Safe but spot on

"But any recourse to violence must be justified, perhaps by an argument that it is necessary to remedy injustice. If a revolutionary victory of the proletariat were to lead to putting the rest of the world into crematoria then the class struggle is not justified. It can only be justified by an argument that it will bring an end to class oppression, and do so in a way that accords with fundamental human rights."

Language and Responsibility, Noam Chomsky (1977, p.80)

Return of ze ex: Dream sequence #1

Masamang panaginip! I have gotten back with my ex! Eeeek!

May series of event or occasions kung saan lagi kami nagkikita at naging closey-closey ulit kami. It was very comfortable and I almost forgot how I hated him so much before. One time, I brought my sister with me and the 3 of us were together. We ended up in his house kaso nakatulog kami ng kapatid ko. Paggising ko, wala na siya so I called him. In the dream, it was sometime 12:30am. Turned out pumunta pala siya sa isang party sa Kamuning (suprisingly, diyan ako pupunta mamaya para mag-attend ng binyag). Sabi ko di man lang niya sinabi na aalis rin pala siya. Sabi ko rin na dun nalang kami matutulog ni Tare dahil hatinggabi na. Sabi niya hindi rin daw siya uuwi bukas. Sabi ko okay lang, magpapalipas lang ng gabi (thinking that his mother who is very close to me will be there anyway). Sabi niya, wala rin daw tao sa house nila at uwumi na lang daw kami! Ghaddd!!! Suddenly, some of his relatives barged in: cousins, aunts, etc. They recognized me as his ex from many years ago and was very happy thinking that we are officially back together. Di lang nila alam, nagngingitngit na ako sa galit at pinipilit ko lang mag-smile. But what made me laugh in my half dream/half awake state is the female cousin's comment na "may itsura ka pala" hahaha! Anyway, nagbihis na kami para umuwi. Pinipilit kami ng mga pinsan niya mag-stay pero sobrang bad trip na ako. Sa may pinto palabas, I discovered that I still have 3 pairs of slippers in their house. Yung una kong kinuha, pigtas ma. Yung pangalawa, pudpod. Yung pangatlo, maayos. Yun ang kinuha ko. Si Tare sobrang bad trip narin. Hiyang-hiya ako sa kanya dahil sa nangyari.

The dream sequence ended with me feeling angry with him. He ditched me like he always did, and it resonated in a dream! That self-centered bastard is, well, a self-centered bastard in dream and reality.

I could no longer protect the boss

I am finally ditching Protect the Boss after one month and only 4 episodes. I couldn't take the three leads, Choi Gang-Hee, Ji Sung and Kim Jae-Joong.

The No Eun Sul character is really getting on my nerves. I find it too over the top and not cute, almost like an attempt to copy the character of Park Kae-In in Personal Taste. Kae-In was so adorable. She may not be pretty physically but you will find yourself embracing her clumsiness, kindheartedness and cuteness as the drama unfolds. And she is not screaming PLASTIC SURGERY. The 2 lead actors are also annoying, though I find Ji Sung more believable than Jae-Joong. Jae-Jong tries to act cold, cool and rich but it just doesn't come across. Lastly, after BOF, I've lost interest in stories about chaebols. I don't know if I'm having loyalty issues here. But the truth is, It didn't get me hooked. I am so not hooked that I kept switching from PTB to CH, then I finished CH for the second time, and I still was able to squeeze in a full 8-episode run of Mackerel Run. Sure it has some funny moments, but on the main, I didn't like it. When all of this (thesis) is over, I will definitely go to Korean dramaland with Lie to Me, Rooftop Prince, Coffee Prince, My Fair Lady, 49 Days, Secret Garden, etc.

Dental clinic chronicles

I've been seeing my accidental dentist three times in the past 2 weeks. It started when I was at the mall with my sister killing time before the screening time of The Avengers. We passed by this alley of desserts and bought mochi ice cream. As I was about to launch a bite, my 3-year old crown tooth fell off (one of the two front teeth). Que horror! It was the perfect nightmare an almost-thirty-year-old woman could ever have. We went first to the dental clinic at the nearby commercial area but it was jam-packed with patients-by-appointment. The next dental clinic I have in mind was the one at the 3rd floor of the mall. Off we went hoping that I can be immediately accommodated. Aside from the horror of embarrassment, I was having jelly legs thinking about the unforeseen impending humongous expenses all those dental treatments usually require.

At the clinic, I was relieved that it was actually the clinic's downtime and the dentist was just waiting for the next patient. It wasn't an ordinary treatment so knowing that I was assigned to a young male dentist, about my age or even younger, is just going to ante up the level of embarrassment.

Doctor Dentist*

Doctor dentist is nice, casual and cool about it. He thoroughly explained what happened and presented the different treatment options, and his recommended one. I thought I was going to go deaf hearing that I could spend a good fortune (nearly 40 fucking thousand pesos) to have this problem fixed. That's for me to think about. Meantime, he fixed my crown for P2,800 just to arrest the emergency situation. *gasp*

I was 80% into the post and core build-up but still hazy with all the peso sign in my head. But I really wanted something permanent and dependable and perfect considering that the affected tooth is a goddamn front tooth. No room for mistakes here, doctor dentist.  Three days later, I called the dental clinic for an appointment.

Build up

He made me wait for 2 hours as he was still attending to a patient! Good thing they're inside the mall so I wouldn't be too bored. When I came back, he was so apologetic for having me wait. I said it's okay because Mondays are usually hectic. He said that he just did dental implants and every time he does, it just eats up and destroys his schedule for the day. In fact, he has not eaten yet and its already 3PM. Haha on the small talk!

I was so happy that my x-ray results turned out fine. For that, I no longer need the "post" which automatically slashes P4,500 off my bill. Woohoo! He started doing the build up. Drill. Drill. Drill. There was a downtime of an hour and a half since I had to wait for my temporary crown to be finished. He advised that I go window shopping while waiting, only that I couldn't smile yet. He also asked if I'm going to line up at Starbuck's happy hour. I said I'm not into Starbucks. Hehe. Thrity minutes into roaming in this mall I so memorize even with eyes closed, I ran into him of all people. He casually remarked that he just finished lining up at the Starbucks happy hour. I returned with a closed-mouth smile. He's totally mastered the art of small-talking his patients. Haha! 

I met up with my sister and she tagged along when I returned to the dental clinic. On our way there, I saw 1 SMS and 1 missed call telling me that the temporary crown is ready. But I did not bother replying since I'm a few steps away from the clinic anyway. And there he was outside waiting. He mentioned that he texted and called (using the clinic number).

Done with the build up. I'll be back in a week or earlier. He said he will inform me.

Semblance of permanence

Only 4 days and I received a call from the secretary asking if I'm free on that day since my permanent crown is ready. Early delivery! Me like their service! Unfortunately, I couldn't and asked for 3PM the next day instead. I went to yoga class, to my 2nd diamond peel session, and then to the dental clinic.

I arrived 15 minutes earlier. As expected, he was still attending to a patient. From inside the main clinic (I was at the reception area), I heard him ask for me.

Doc: Andiyan na si Ayi?

Sec: Oo. (she went in) Ayi? Close kayo?

Doc: Eh yun ang tawag sa kanya eh.

I cracked up inside. Haha! I perfectly remember writing my real name (not Ayi) in the patient data sheet but I don't remember where I wrote Ayi. Haha!

Well, I waited again for about 30 minutes. I couldn't bring myself to window shop due to a slight migraine. So I just stayed at the reception area.

Finally, my turn! He was apologetic for having me wait again. Of course I said "okay". I couldn't possibly say "your appointment system sucks" for he could just stab me with all those dental weapons. Anyway, I'm slightly conscious of him getting too close to my face (in a dentist way, not in a pervy way) because my face just got pricked and diamond-peeled so it was oily and, well, red.

He had a little trouble removing the temporary tooth causing him to hammer and drill it. He was mumbling how he cemented it too well. Hehe. The hammering was torture and he kept asking if I'm fine and if its hurting. It did not actually hurt but the anticipation for the moment when the tooth falls was killing me. Finally, after stressing my gums (to which he apologized, hehe), it was out! He asked me to relax for a couple of minutes while he prepares the crown. He caught me rubbing my temples because of my migraine.

Doc: Masakit ulo mo?

Me: Oo eh, migraine.

Doc: Kanina pa yan?

Me: Mga 2 hours na.

Doc: Stressed ka siguro.

Me: Oo nga eh, stressed talaga.

*Open mouth*

Doc: Stressed ka yata sa kaka-isip sa boyfriend mo.

Oh wait right there, doctor dentist! What was that all about? You are not only small-talking. Are you flirting with me now? Are you fishing information? Haha! It cracked me up inside yet again. I would have returned the flirting if my mouth were shut. I'm thinking I would have said "Mai-stress ka lang naman sa boyfriend kapag may boyfriend ka" (translation: I don't have a boyfriend, if that's what you want to ask.)

He installed my permanent porcelain crown with a little polishing at the back to perfect my bite. Nice work there, doctor dentist. He checked the rest of my teeth and saw four that need pasta. He also gave his parting words in true dentistry fashion (i.e., take care of my teeth, not to bite on very hard stuff, to floss 2-3 times a day, etc.). He ended by saying goodbye (translation: what you have there is a sturdy permanent crown already) and see you soon (translation: come back for pasta).

But I guess I'll see him around literally. I'm in this mall almost everyday, anyway. Or maybe the next time he lines up at Starbucks happy hour. Haha!

*Doctor Dentist is how my cutie pie 3-year old niece refers to her dentist

The dating scene in my book

I had a sudden gush of warm feeling thinking about how the next week is going to be like. And I'm recalling certain dates and people I need to see. I just realized that a lot of friends want to date me (all from totally different circles). Not in a pervy way. Haha!

There was Chiqui who made certain that she'll see us (Jhen and Joyce) over her quick vacation from Australia.
There's Mel who has been bugging me for a meet-up.
There's Iella who celebrated her birthday a month ago but have been earnestly requesting that I see her so she can treat me at Soderno.
There's Tin who specifically wants me to go with her to Baguio on her upcoming Manila vacation from UAE.
There's Burn who noted that I haven't responded to his invitation for a "date".
And there's my staple of friends, the Commune, who requests a weekly commune time with me.

I may love them in different levels, but I love them all. The fact they treat me as their friend makes my heart smile with utter gratitude. For whatever purpose I play in their lives, they must have found something good in me. So I am willing to play the part of returning the favor of being a genuine friend to me.

Elbi

My critique advised me to check out theses at UP Los Banos! Ma-effort at matrabaho. But I was excited at the thought of getting on the bus for a couple hours of trip outside Metro Manila.

And I did last Wednesday, May 16. Left the house at 7am, boarded the bus to Sta.Cruz, Laguna in Buendia around 8:30am, and arrived at UPLB at 10:00am. It's not that far, actually. The travel was a breeze. And I did not have a hard time finding the College of Development Communication since its just right after the main gate. (I recognized it immediately from the pictures).

I spent a good 5 hours in the library. Almost no other students except me, plus I was granted all the freedom to check as much theses I want. It is waaay more convenient than the system in Diliman where you have to fill out a theses call slip and you can only request for a maximum of 2 at a time. You leave your ID and you can only photocopy the abstract. In LB, all theses are on the unrestricted shelves. I have 8 stacked on my desk! Then the librarian noticed that I've been writing and writing. She mentioned that I can just tag the pages I want photocopied outside so I wouldn't have a hard time copying. What?! I can photocopy ALL the parts I want?! When it was time to photocopy, I took out 7 theses from the university! 7 thesis! Outside the university! (no photocopier within the college). I would've been jailed in Diliman if I did that. One more thing: No lunch break! This is library heaven! Oh god, I was hyperventilating.

In Diliman, they close the desk service during lunch, which means no theses-browsing. One time, all students were sent out of the library over a "lunch break" declaration. Plus the librarian was getting cozy with me. Turned out that she's a Nu Skin agent and she showed me the products she direct-sells. Haha!

I left the library at 3PM. By this time, my stomach is already grumbling for missing lunch. I wanted to maximize my time so I opted to skip lunch and save my craving for later at the local coffee shop I saw on my way there. I decided to eat at Boston Cafe', something I remember seeing from an FB friend. But I was disappointed! Almost all of their offerings at the menu were not available. I ended up with a so-so Pasta Arriabata and a so-so brewed coffee. I took out my laptop and checked work emails for the first time that day. I was very lucky that there was nothing so urgent.

Sitting across me was an interesting-looking bespectacled guy. He was also working on his laptop over iced tea. Wearing a plain white collared t-shirt, I can sense he's a graduate student (an alumnus, most likely) and/or a professor - basta from the academe. I caught him pass a glance on me, and he looked away. I glanced at him and looked away. And he did the same thing. Para magpapansin, I walked over to the counter near where he was sitting and asked for water. I would have devised a plan to approach him had I not left early. I just stayed for an hour because I still had some 2 hours to travel back to Manila. Too bad.

I stopped by the legendary Mer-Nel's Cake House to buy a welcome home cake for my baby nephew, Cio. Nasa elbi na rin lang, might as well buy Mer-Nel's instead of the typical buko pie.

The difficulty of going home coming from the south via public transport (how ironic since I live in the south) had me decided to get off at Magallanes, and take a very, very quick bus ride to Ayala to catch the shuttle going home.

Now I am faced with the reality that I must write. Haay.

Un-concentration camp

I couldn't muster enough mental courage to continue writing my RRL revisions. I have all the materials in place, though. I just need to write away, which I find very difficult right now. I'm crisscrossing from MS Word to dramabeans.com to youtube to 4shared. Aaah... hope someone can invent a concentration pill.

Anyway, dramabeans.com is a great website for all Korean drama fans. The blogger claims that her blogs aim to deconstruct Korean dramas and Kpop culture. I think the aim of "deconstructing" is a rather tall order. You need to peel layers and layers of social constructs and contexts. It is highly theoretical and critical (owing to the Frankfurt guys' school of thought). But the way she has been doing it so far is not deconstruction but more of recapping and reviewing with insets of interesting trivia about Korean culture. Hello, semantics. But it is unarguably entertaining and informative. And the hundreds of comments! Oh the comments cracks me up all the time, especially those pertaining to Min Ho. Hahaha! These fans are a bunch of crazy funny ahjummas! Gotta love dramabeans!

Seriously

Seriously, Min Ho, you're not human. You are too handsome, too tall, you sing well, you have a sexy speaking voice, great physique, you have dimples, you can act, you have substance (according to how you answer interview questions), you love your family, you are so cute I want to squish you, you starred in really great dramas, and you seem to be a gentle soul. Seriously. The only thing that keeps you human is your altered nose. Nonetheless, you have completely turned me into a fangirl reminiscent of my high school boyband-worshiping days. Not good at all. I'm becoming 14 all over again!

Pahabol musings

Still on City Hunter... Pangalawang beses na pero nalungkot parin ako ng todo sa pagkamatay ni Prosecutor. At na-realize ko na ang tragic ng love story nila ni Sae Hee. Ito yung pinaka-tragic ang ending sa lahat ng relationships sa istoryang ito. Anyway, I so, so love this drama. I don't think I will be watching the whole of it again anytime soon. Forty hours is too much already. I've been watching too much since March: 24 hours of Goong, 16 hours of Personal Taste, 40 hours of City Hunter and 1 hour of Protect the Boss. Now that serious work and thesis is coming up, I'd say bye bye first to my Korean entertainment land. (Or maybe squeeze in an hour or 2 per day of Protect the Boss)