The last time I felt like this was while waiting for the results of the comprehensive exams I took in graduate school. My heart was thumping extra hard whenever my mind is not distracted with work or any activity. It's not easy being like that for a week. Until the day came when I received a call from my classmate telling me that I passed. I literally jumped for joy.
It's all coming back to me now - the jitters and the torment while I anticipate the approval or denial of my Korean visa. My 2-minute encounter with the young female consul was easy. All requirements are complete. But I can't help but rummage through countless possibilities that may cause denial of visa based on too much Internet research (yes, this is the downside). Documents cannot be verified (i.e. Sandy was not able to answer the embassy's call for verification, or she answered differently, TIN number cannot be recognized - this I'm so afraid of), hotel cannot be contacted, or that they simple missed my documents from their eenie-meenie-minee-moe-to-whom-will-this-visa-go scheme. You know the words "consul" and "power trip" conveniently go together, eh?
Aaaahhh, it's killing me! I wanna die!This has got to be the longest week in my life! But then again, If I get denied, then it means that I just have to concentrate on my thesis (because if Korea trip pushes through, I will have to interrupt my data gathering, temporarily detach myself from my thesis and work, and then return again to Sagada to continue). Then I can reapply 6 months later in time to catch spring. It's not that bad really. BUT STILL, I WANT IT TO BE NOW.
A documentation of sporadic whims. A repository of random memories. A keeper of fleeting thoughts. As Jessie Wallace puts it, "we are the sum of all moments of our lives."
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